A new love and new challenges have clearly found their way into my life. I have been aching to write and blog again. Today it seems a bit closer to reality than for a couple of weeks ago. I have a need to let my creativity flow and words to find their way out – to fill a blank page with black signs. I am sitting here with my baby girl in a carrier on my tummy. It is summer outside and a soft breeze from an open window cools us down. What have you been up to lately?
The other day I found out that one of my fellow bloggers is quitting and it made me sad. I hope we stay in touch though since we had much in common. I also had time to read through all comments on my posts and was happy to see your kindness. I would love to have you writing guest posts for me to share. I really think it would be fun and interesting. So I will set off time to go through all your offers and suggestions, which I look forward to, and then I get back to you as soon as possible.
With motherhood new challenges arises.
- Sleep. Although I understood that sleep was going to be affected and that it was precious I did not realize the width of it. During the first weeks I was exhausted and my mind played games. It was frightening and I almost lost it. Depression was close to a fact but with the help of relatives and friends I managed. Now, thankfully, I am back on track.
- Time. With a newborn everything takes time. Planning and patients is crucial. I found it hard before and today it is even worse. A typical scenario: You are ready to leave and are about to step out the door when your baby poo and you have to change diaper, again. This way I have been late to several appointments. But I guess I will figure it out soon. Or maybe that just is the way it is to live with kids.
- Things does not always work out the way you planned. Before our BabyGirl was born I had decided to breastfeed. I was so sure of it and had no second thoughts. But I was faced with one of the largest challenges. It just did not work how much we even tried. It tore me apart and affected my sleep to a point I could not be the mother I wanted to be. After a month of struggle I gave up. It was a difficult choice do not think anything else. I also discovered the shame of not breastfeeding your baby. Mothers do not talk about it and you feel very lonely. I opened up about it an found that it is more common than one could guess.
- Puts your relationship on a test. When you think of a family you see two smiling parents and a sweet baby. This is true from time to time. But becoming parents really challenge our relationship. All the above effects it. Not sleeping well makes us grumpy and easily provoked. Lack of time to discuss and spend on each other makes it even more complicated. Unforseen happenings puts even more pressure on both of us. I am thankful we have ten years and a lot of experiences in our back pack. Trust, hope and love keep us going. We know things will be better. We have just settled and work on the daily routines. Trying to bear the burden together and share the joy.
It might sound that I regret having a baby but no way. I love her and just one glimpse at her makes my heart sing. I am happy, my spouses is happy and our baby thrives. The above are just things I think we should talk about and acknowledge. Having a baby is not only a fluffy and easy dream in pink or blue. It is also hard work and puts us up to various challenges.
What challenges do you face in parenthood?